Total Relapse

In my previous articles I have shared with everyone about my travails to my beloved home country. Every year I look forward of going home and be with my family and loved ones. But this year was something different. Four months before I was due on vacation, I was diagnosed with my current illness. And as everyone knows, being afflicted with diabetes naturally changes one’s life. It has changed my life style, my eating habits, my routine, etc. Because I was serious in trying to find a cure for my illness, I began to follow a strict and rigid regimen as per my doctor’s advise and treatment. With the doctor’s advise, I regularly checked my blood glucose- three(3X) a day; I gave myself a shot of insulin once a day; I took my other medications and other food supplements religiously. Aside from religiously taking my medications, I strictly followed a meal plan, and I regularly exercised as well. Everything was being followed as planned and ordered till I went home for my vacation this year. For the first week, I think I still did alright. On the second week, everything just changed dramatically. It was a total relapse. I didn’t check my blood glucose anymore; I was eating everything that were served on the table; I was eating cake and ice cream right and left. I didn’t care anymore about how much carbohydrates on the food I was eating. I was back to my old self doing the same thing I used to do. I had this overpowering feeling of “I don’t care anymore” attitude. I just wanted to enjoy myself, eat the food I wanted and have fun. But, unfortunately, it was the worst thing I did. Before I realized it, my blood sugar was up again. And I know that if I can’t control this, its debilitating effects and serious consequences would be irreversible..

I have asked myself again and again how come I have not smelled danger the soonest? But maybe I did. Maybe I just didn’t care anything anymore. Maybe I am tired of it. I thought that it would just simmer away silently. But I knew I was evading the truth. I knew that I have diabetes and it would not just go away just like that. And yet, I still continued to pretend that everything will be alright. That I am not affected by this illness anymore. That I can go on with my life like how it used to be. But this was absolutely insane. I knew I was irrational. Now I need to wake up, reset myself, and get back to my routine before I went home on vacation. If I am not able to change my lifestyle now, it would be more difficult to make any changes later on.

I tried to check my blood glucose occasionally since I came back. It has not gone down below one twenty. I think this should be a wake up call for me. I know I need to lose more weight and to watch my diet again. And I need to start making these changes now. Tomorrow maybe too late.