What Happens After Tomorrow?

Last Saturday, I had my first blood test taken since I was hospitalized about three months ago. The day before my doctor’s appointment, the doctor’s secretary called me up and reminded me about my doctor’s appointment the following day. Also, she instructed me about not taking anything after midnight of that day in preparation for my blood test the following day. During the night before my doctor’s appointment, I felt so restless and anxious. I was thinking about the blood test that I had to do the following day and I was anxious about the possible results. I know that in the course of three months, I have somehow managed to regulate my blood sugar at an acceptable level. My readings had been relatively low and promising. My blood sugar had not gone up more than 150, which was good. In spite of this, however, I still felt some anxiety within myself that I could not really explain. I knew that this blood test was important because, for the first time, I would come to know if my AIC has really gone down or not. They say that the day-to-day reading of blood sugar level is not really important. What matters really is the AIC count. Through the reading of the AIC, the doctors will be able to determine and evaluate the consistency of how high or low my blood sugar is within a span of three months. For now, I just hope for the best.

What happens after tomorrow? A question I ask myself recurrently nowadays. Some days I find myself in a relatively good mood, at some other days I feel terribly bad. My feeling is sometimes likened to a roller-coaster. I have my own good days and bad days. Maybe it’s just the way it is. Of course, I don’t want to simply set excuses that I have this roller coaster mood due to my illness. I know for a fact that there are other things which are contributing to my sets of moods. But, I need to deal with it more maturely and rationally. I cannot let my mood swings overpower my capacity to enjoy a happy and fulfilling life. Whether you are suffering from some form of illness or not, all of us have our own sets of moods and behavior patterns. However, what is important is being able to understand the causes of your behavior, and be able to accept and deal with it in a mature way.

Today I am going back to see my doctor to get the results of my blood test the other day. I am hoping that my AIC has gone down to an acceptable level. If my blood test shows that my sugar is now regulated, my doctor would hopefully ask me to discontinue the use of insulin. I pray and hope that I get a positive results from my blood test.

But, as I always say, I take one day at a time. Everything has a reason and a purpose. Right now, I put everything in God’s hands. He knows best what is good for me. I have to believe and trust in His mercy and love.