My Blood Sugar Went Up

I was a little alarmed this morning when my fasting sugar went up to 141, where I used to be holding up for the past month or so from 70 to 128. I tried to think back why my blood sugar shot up a bit. Yesterday afternoon, after my exercise and before I had dinner, my sugar level was only 113. Then I recalled back what I ate for dinner. I had rack of lamb for the first time since I got sick. I did not eat much but more than usual. Then in the evening, I ate again- this time, a piece of steak and rice. Although it was controlled, I actually had two light dinners in a row. Then, late at night, I was stressed out with something which was unexpected. So, I said, these dinners and stress must have caused my blood sugar to shoot up a bit.

I realize that when my blood sugar goes up, I feel a little irritated and overwhelmed. I felt a sense of anxiety that I could not really describe. Maybe it’s true what they say that when you have diabetes, your mood swings from one pendulum to the other. At the same, I felt a little depress due to the thought that it would be like this forever. In spite of my regular medication and exercise, I am sure my blood sugar would just go up and down at some unexpected moments.

Before I had breakfast this morning, I just gave myself a shot again with insulin. Then after breakfast, I took my other regular medications like Metformin and other oral pills and vitamins. Although I felt a little anxious, I said to myself that this is another day. I just have to take one day at a time.

This morning, after mass, a lady came up to me and was so happy to share with me the exciting news that after four years of trying, she got pregnant again. I congratulated her, prayed with her and shared with her in her joys. Then I said to myself afterwards, yes we should be happy always because God gave us so much blessings in life. It’s just unfortunate that too often we take our blessings for granted until some difficult trials or illness come into our lives.

Today we commemorate the Solemnity of the Ascension of our Lord. In my view, his ascension does not mean that Christ is no longer with us. In fact, Matthew, the only evangelist who did not have an account of the Ascension, writes: “ I am with you always until the end of the world.” Although Matthew set the scene of the Ascension, he stopped short of actually saying that Jesus ascended. Perhaps this is Matthew’s way of stressing the ‘staying’ of Jesus with us instead of ‘going away’ to heaven. With this we are comforted with the paradox or mystery that Jesus has gone away but, in another sense, is still with us here on earth. Thus, the name Immanuel, which means “God is with us.”

Some people today, not excluding myself, say that God seems to be silent and so distant at times. But the truth is, he is with us though we are not aware of his presence. He is with us when we read His Word in the scriptures, when we gather together in his name, for he said: “where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in their midst.” We experience his “being with us” here and now when we care and minister to the least of Christ’s brethren. And also, as others attest, God is with us when we experience his presence and power, in our lives – in peak moments of joy as well as in the ebb of life’s trials and difficulties. But we need the eyes of faith to see his abiding presence in all the circumstance of our life.

As we celebrate his Ascension today, I pray for myself and others that we maybe able to see and feel the abiding presence of God in our lives, even as we face difficult trials and illness.