I am not alone in this Journey

Since I was diagnosed with my illness, and came out in the open, I have met a number of people, some very close acquaintances, who told me that they are also suffering with the same illness. But what surprised me really was the fact that I have been with many of these acquaintances and friends, and yet I had no clue whatsoever that they also had this same illness, and had been suffering very quietly. My heart sank with pain as I listened to some of their stories. Maybe because I am now able to empathize with them, and share with them personally in their sufferings, as I am suffering myself in the same way.

A deacon I met this weekend told me that he had been suffering with this illness for more than ten years already. What is important, he said, is that he checks his sugar regularly, at least three times a day, takes insulin(with four different kinds) four times a day, plus he takes in some added oral pills for diabetes. His story is very inspiring and encouraging. He has such great determination and optimism in spite of his illness. There was also another person I met this weekend, a lady medical doctor, whom I am acquainted with for the last ten years, and yet I never knew that she had been suffering from diabetes. She told me that this illness runs in her family. Both her parents are diabetic, and four of the children are now suffering with the same illness. This lady doctor assured me that everything will be alright, as long as I take care of myself. She said that I just have to comply with my medications, watch my diet, exercise- and everything will go well. I was amazed by the way she is handling her illness. She was so calm and uncomplaining. Another friend whom I knew had diabetes has been very supportive and reassuring to me as well. He was diagnosed with this illness just about two years ago. He explained to me how he lost so much weight in dieting. He watches his diet very strictly and counts the carbs of what he eats daily. Two weeks ago he sent me a lot of good materials about meal planning, dieting and what kind of food I can eat and not eat. All these materials that he gave me have been very helpful. A lady friend of mine whom I met some years ago, and who now works at a national bookstore, just informed me that she had been herself suffering from diabetes too, for the last 27 years. If you see her, you would not find any clue whatsoever that she is also suffering from this illness. She is always smiling and jolly. She knows how to carry herself even in this very difficult situation. Her story about how she was handling herself with this disease throughout these years had been very inspiring too. The other day, a lady friend from the Philippines, who is a nurse, sent me an email and told me that she has been praying for me. But she asked me to pray for her too. A year ago she had been diagnosed with “endometrial cancer,” but what I didn’t know was that she had been suffering from diabetes too , since 2001. But what really moved me was what she wrote in her email. She said, “Please accept my apology because i really forgot to great you on your birthday. … But even if I was not able to greet you we still include you in our prayers and will continuously do it as long as we live. We go to Our Lady of Manaoag when Ramon is here in Manila, especially on my crucial time now with ENDOMETRIAL CANCER. I too never question God why I have this kind of illness. I just cry and pray and have faith in God who gave me life and He is the only who can also take my life . I clearly remember Fr. Soc Villegas told us" We are only created by God, only He who knows How and When we die, so let us prepare ourselves, ready always to enter the kingdom of heaven. With my 2 illness (diabetes and Cancer) i trust everything to God and He will do the rest.” My friend’s ordeal is nothing compared to what I am currently going through. In spite of battling 2 illnesses, diabetes and cancer, her faith and trust in God never wavered. What an inspiration she is. How I wish I could have the same courage and strength to face my own trials. Maybe, some people are just gifted with such great faith. Nothing could ever shake them down – not even the tragedy of cancer, or the suffering of having diabetes, or even the anxiety of impending death. I call these people the “chosen angels” because they know what human suffering really is, and they are not afraid to face it. God bless their strength and souls.

As I sit here today mulling over my sickness and trying to decipher of what to do next, I feel a certain sense of calmness because I realize that I am not alone in this journey, that there are also other people who are traveling with me in this same difficult road. And when you know that you are not alone in your journey, the weight of your burdens becomes lighter.

I pray that all people who are suffering with this illness may not lost faith but continue to trust and abide in God’s love and mercy.